I have been given a great life with little tragedy. I have been given great love of all my parents, grandparents, great grandparents and many family and friends. I have been able to see age at its beauty. I have been able to see traditions passed on from one generation to the next. I have been able to receive gifts from other family members that have been handed down from generation to generation. I never realized how lucky I was to experience age until I listened to our phone messages yesterday. "Uh Casey, this is (person from the Guard). I am sorry to put this on your answering machine, but I wanted you to know that Heidi passed away this afternoon." GASP! Gulp! Heidi. We knew that Heidi was sick with cancer and we knew her days were limited on hospice. But to actually have it be real, hit me harder than I thought it would. Heidi was Casey's boss when he started his current job (which was less than 3 years ago). Did I know Heidi well? No. I did know that Heidi was a beautiful 40-50 year old single mother of twins that she adopted. I found out later last night that Heidi's sister just passed away 6 months ago from cancer. Her parents are not living and the only family member alive was her niece. Ugh! My heart just aches for her children, who I believe are 2nd or 3rd graders. My heart aches for them because they won't get to see their mom age, have their mom pass on things from generations past, have a grandma around to hug/call/love on them.
I am unsure why this death has hit me harder than others in the past. Maybe it is her twins having to go to a home of one of Heidi's friend instead of keeping them in her family. Maybe it is her age and how close it is to mine. Maybe it is me stressing over the little things that don't mean anything when they interfere with making memories with my boys. Maybe it is a reality check that I need to let my family and friends how much I appreciate and love them.
For tonight…I went into the boys' room for JUST ONE MORE hug!
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